![\"\"](\"http:\/\/mydoublelifeinitaly.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/12\/141.jpg\" "\\"141\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n“Mixed Signals” \u00a0mixed media on paper, 2000<\/p>\n
Driving in Italy is interesting. \u00a0I mourn the way it used to be before the European Union began tightening its iron fist of\u00a0bureaucratic\u00a0restrictions in all areas, but especially regarding the roads. \u00a0Back in the good old days it was every man for himself, \u00a0which, \u00a0if you were young and agile with excellent reflexes, \u00a0was a magical world for drivers. \u00a0 Old people in small three-wheeled vehicles that require no license were above the rules, and the rest of us were well-aware that the hares needed to avoid the erratic and oblivious turtles. \u00a0Lights flashed, \u00a0horns blared and fingers were displayed, \u00a0two-lane roads magically morphed into six-laners. \u00a0 If you needed to be somewhere in a hurry, you could press the accelerator to the floor and hurtle along at breathtaking speeds. \u00a0At 110 miles an hour \u00a0you could be there in half the time! \u00a0 It was fabulous.<\/p>\n
Now, things have changed. \u00a0Speeds have been reduced as technology has been developed to monitor behavior. \u00a0Since the introduction of\u00a0scale-able\u00a0points on \u00a0drivers’ licenses, \u00a0all the fun is over. \u00a0 The highways are no longer raceways, and everyone inches along at or below the designated speed of 130 kilometers an hour, about 80 MPH, wary of the “Tutor” system of monitoring all drivers’ speeds between two random points. \u00a0You never know where this monitoring starts or where it ends, and amusingly folks who don’t understand how it works will hit the brakes as they pass under the highway-wide \u00a0signs announcing that their passage in fact is being spied upon and recorded. \u00a0Small towns have discovered the Midas-like potential of speed cameras for producing revenue. \u00a0You will never know until months later, when a crisp picture of your car and you shows up in the mail with a hefty fine. \u00a0The speed limits on secondary roads are often ludicrously slow: \u00a0warning signs will suggest slowing to speeds which will get you killed if you observe them, and drivers learn quickly that they travel at these speeds at their own peril. \u00a0 Of course the overall effect is that occasionally there is a warning sign which should actually be heeded, and accidents will inevitably occur. \u00a0Curves are rarely banked, which is incredibly dangerous, and is in fact my number-one pet peeve. \u00a0Just look for the flowers at the side of the road telling you that the curve is deadly. \u00a0Other curves, \u00a0such as highway access ramps, \u00a0often will be \u00a0inconsistently-shaped and morph from a large and comfortable cloverleaf \u00a0to a hairpin suddenly and without warning. \u00a0 Most roads are totally flat, so if it rains, \u00a0you can count on them being covered with inches of water in no time at all.<\/p>\n
The best place to practice your driving in Italy is the supermarket. \u00a0 Get yourself a cart on a busy day before lunchtime and learn to\u00a0maneuver\u00a0the aisles. \u00a0People will not make way for you. \u00a0They will stop and block everyone else for no reason. \u00a0They will leave their cart parked in the center of the aisle and wander off to chat. \u00a0They will veer off suddenly at drastic angles \u00a0and back up without looking. \u00a0They will play a subtle game of chicken, \u00a0poker-faced, as carts pass and\u00a0nick\u00a0each other’s wheels. \u00a0 And yet…the ballet of \u00a0people and objects is wonderful to behold. \u00a0 No one gets angry, the flow is constant and everyone ends up in a formation similar to a line at checkout. \u00a0 This is how we drive here.<\/p>\n
I have to thank my long-time friend Ann for her metaphor about driving in Italy; that it is amoeba-like, a constantly changing formation which adapts to itself and flows over the road. \u00a0Each driver takes into account all other drivers, everyone is constantly vigilant and prepared for unexpected movement. \u00a0Lanes are only suggestions. \u00a0I think of American roads, with everyone gripping the wheel and blithely staying within the lines of their lane, confident that if they adhere to the rules all will be well. \u00a0Wouldn’t it be better, on the highway for example, that \u00a0if someone needed to move out of the first lane into the second, that you should anticipate and move into the third? \u00a0I am convinced that an accident, even if caused by “the other guy,” \u00a0is everyone’s fault. \u00a0If the final goal is to avoid contact with another vehicle, then why wouldn’t this be the case?<\/p>\n
I will admit that I am always ready to criticize the fast cars which pass me with two wheels in my lane, and yet I understand not to take this personally. \u00a0Almost everyone here will drive on the center white line if there are no other cars near, and often even if there are. \u00a0And I do hate it when I come around a curve and find one lane blocked by a clot of stopped cars, a group of daytrippers munching on sandwiches, conferring with each other \u00a0and smoking. \u00a0And my favorite annoyance, someone out for a drive on a narrow road, scrawny elbow out the window—the glass rolled halfway up to avoid drafts—crawling along at fifteen miles an hour. \u00a0It might appear that they have never noticed their rear-view mirror, but I can assure you that they not only know that there is someone behind them, but they are enjoying this small moment of megalomania. \u00a0I have known people to hang a white cloth out the window of their car, a universal sign that someone is on their way to the emergency room, in order to bypass slow traffic.<\/p>\n
So my theory about driving is as follows: \u00a0If everyone is constantly vigilant, there will be fewer problems on the roads, wherever you find yourself driving. \u00a0If you know that there may be unexpected\u00a0occurrences\u00a0ahead, \u00a0you will be better- prepared when they happen. \u00a0Yes, that is a goat up ahead. \u00a0No, I don’t believe that group of people standing in the road are planning on moving out of the way. \u00a0 Isn’t that guy in the three-wheeler going the wrong way? \u00a0If everyone followed the rules and stayed within their designated lines, \u00a0oblivious of the organic nature of traffic flow, \u00a0wouldn’t their smug complacency eventually lead to more \u00a0rather than fewer accidents?<\/p>\n